Motor Mouth
by spacemonkey69
Summary: Chandler needs to learn to think before he speaks. Song fic, oneshot please read and review!


Have any of ya'all ever listened to a song and thought 'that song had to have been written about so and so'? I have many times, and this was one of these times. When I was listening to this song 'Motor Mouth' by Sugarbomb, I could have sworn it was about Chandler...even if no one else agrees. I mean, he's always letting things slip, obviously has trouble controling his mouth and he is slightly misunderstood me thinks...and plus, this song just called for a lot of cuteness! So, this is my story, written while I pondered where to go for my other million stories, and I quite like this one...I think it's set in season 2 or 3...sounds good! Please read and review and I love you!

I do not own friends/actors/characters/Sugarbomb but I do own their album...thats right

* * *

_How can I forget the conversation  
Such a fresh display of imagination  
Let it run away with my lips  
I nearly tripped  
Time to abandon ship_

Oh my god.

Oh my giddy god.

Of all the things I had ever done; both stupid, and ridiculously unwise, nothing could top the moment that I once again let the words leave my mouth quicker then a diva leaving in her limousine.

Of all the things I had ever done; letting it slip to Rachel that Ross loved her being one of the big ones (although it did turn out well in the end) this was the biggest.

Because I knew that it was ridiculous. I had known that even before I had said it. It had sounded ridiculous in my head, the main reason why I had never spoken it.

Not many things sounded ridiculous in my head –only sounding that way once I spoke them – so I knew that when they sounded that way before they reached my lips, there was something wrong.

Which is why I never said it, until as usual; it left my mouth with the greatest of ease, just like all slips had left my mouth in the past.

And you; you just looked at me with the blankest of expressions, making me realise that my brain had been right. It was ridiculous.

I shouldn't be allowed to talk to _anyone. _I shouldn't be allowed to be left in a room with anybody, my mouth unhinged as it was. It was just a disaster waiting to happen.

I really had to learn to control myself.

_How can I forget your blank expression  
Something like a priest at his first confession  
Trying to appear unsurprised  
I should have surmised  
It was time I should say goodnight_

_You don't know the half of it_

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

How could I have let myself be so stupid?

How could I have let myself say it?

Let the cat out of the bag?

Put my gigantic foot into my even bigger mouth?

How, in all that it true and holy, could I have let my lips run away from me?

There were reasons why the term 'smacking your head against a brick wall' was invented – for times like this. For telling your friend your darkest secret in what would possibly be the most nonchalant voice I had ever adopted in my life, followed by the most shocked look I had ever adopted –never once expecting to hear my words out in the open like that.

Followed by your look; a look that didn't really seem that odd on your face.

You always looked blank when you didn't understand something, and this was a big one that you couldn't comprehend. I knew that, because it had taken me forever to comprehend it myself, and when I had, I had vowed to myself to keep it a secret, because it was much better unspoken; less complicated.

But then, my subconscious had always secretly vouched for the more complicated situations.

_Some secrets are better left unspoken  
Some promises better kept unbroken  
Too often my mouth is found wide open  
Full of regret_

I was bad; no not bad, that didn't seem right.

I was wicked. Close, but no cigar.

I was naughty. Yeah, that was the money line, worked much better then the other two words; sounds much more demeaning.

I was naughty and I deserved a spanking, to make up for the ones I never received when I was a child…although both my mother and father seemed to receive twice as many to make up for my lack of.

Changing the subject…

Telling Joey that I had fallen madly in love with him would go down in history of the biggest foot in mouth incident ever recorded by man-

Not only man, aliens too. If you looked up the term 'foot in mouth' millions of years into the future, naturally in a Wookies dictionary, you would see a picture of me, and this situation described to the letter T.

I wonder why I chose Wookies? They had never been my favourite, I had always preferred Ewoks, even though my friends had never agreed, but I never swayed.

Ewoks were cuter than Wookies…why did I say Wookies?

Oh yeah, because that was the thing to ponder over…idiot.

_How can I forget the situation  
Spitting out the words without hesitation  
Never take a moment to breathe  
Overworking my grief  
With my heart on my rolled up sleeve  
You don't know the half of it_

Moving on from Star Wars characters, my mind kept flicking back to that horrible moment, me telling Joey.

I might as well have just jumped him; I had been so casual about it.

_Hey Chan, quick question._

_What?_

_If you ever wanted to date a guy, who would it be?_

_You, naturally._

_What?_

_Well, it just seems right that I date the guy that I lov…uhh, I mean…that's not true, I made that up!_

…_what?_

Why? Why? Why did that happen? Why couldn't I have gone on, miserable with my secret love, and have him not know? Why did I have to open my stupid mouth?

Why the hell couldn't I control myself?

I think I know.

I think that subconsciously (getting deep now) I wanted Joey to know, wanted to see his reaction. Wanted to know if he would be interested in…you know.

But his face had been blanker than Keanu Reeves trying to convey emotion…man that's a nasty remark, but oh so true.

Maybe I should have hung around to see his reaction, after shaking out of the trance that he had fallen in, but there was no way that I was staying there. Talk about awkwardness. Talk about horribleness.

Talk about embarrassing.

So I got the hell out of there, looking for the nearest brick wall to smack my head against.

_Some secrets are better left unspoken  
Some promises better kept unbroken  
Too often my mouth is found wide open  
Full of regret_

He is so going to run away from me now.

Wait, no he isn't because I'm gonna be the one running…actually, I already did run.

Yeah, run away from my problems, it had always worked in the past.

I could leave and run away to Yemen…wherever the hell Yemen was. It sounded like something a person had randomly made up on the day that their oral report about countries had been due and they had forgotten to stud-

Focus Chandler, focus!

Man, no wonder my mouth is always running off, my brain doesn't seem to have any control.

Could I go to Yemen? It seemed like a good way to resolve my problems; get as far away as I possibly could before certain bodily functions hit the fan; not that it hadn't already.

I love Joey, I run away, and now I was hyperventilating. Great, just what I need.

Actually, it could work to my advantage. I could die and then I wouldn't have to worry about this; nor would I have to learn the Yemen language…not that I knew what they spoke over there anyway…if it was a real country.

Maybe after all this, I would look it up.

But once more, I needed to focus.

Okay, so Joey found out. Not a big deal, we could deal with this, it would be fine. Joey was fine with the gay thing; he had said it when we first met. Maybe he had known what I hadn't?

Nope, not possible.

And plus, this was a big deal.

Bye bye Chandler and Joey, hello awkwardness.

We couldn't go on like normal, not after this. One of us would have to move out, and it was gonna be me because naturally, this was all my fault.

Well, it was partly Joey's fault…damn him being so ridiculously charming and cute and wonderful.

But no, it wasn't his fault, nor was his charm ridiculous.

The only thing around here that was ridiculous was me; me and my stupid mouth.

And the fact that I don't even have a paper bag to save my life.

Guess I really am going to die from hyperventilating.

_Tell it like it is and soon its fiction_

_Any little lie get you benediction_

_Some secrets are better left unspoken  
Some promises better kept unbroken  
Too often my mouth is found wide open  
Full of regret_

As usual, I overreacted.

I didn't die, I was barely even hyperventilating.

So instead of dying, I rushed back over to what had once been our apartment, but would soon be only his, and went to pack; to get the hell out of there. I don't know where Joey went, but right now I didn't care.

Before I could even get four steps Joey walked in, an odd look on his face and I knew that I should have gone straight to Yemen and sent for my things later. But it was too late now; time to have the long, arduous talk. Least I knew where Joey was.

He turned and closed the door, me watching his back warily. My eyes watched as he locked the door and slid the key chain across, confusing me. Was he going to kill me? That didn't really seem right – Joey wasn't like that, he would want to talk this through – or fair.

But I couldn't get that thought out of my head, which is why I probably looked like I wanted to leap out the window.

Joey paused for a moment, still facing the door and I glanced in direction of the closest window, wondering if I would have enough time.

But to my surprise, when he turned back around, the odd look had left his face, replaced with something that I couldn't really describe.

And I knew then that there would be no need to leap out of the window, and that there was a good chance of me receiving that spanking, but not in the way I had anticipated…this way I preferred a lot more.

I smiled, and he smiled back.

Maybe it wasn't that ridiculous.

_Misunderstood misunderstood  
Misunderstood misunderstood  
Misunderstood misunderstood  
Misunderstood misunderstood  
Something I forgot to tell you  
Maybe overwhelm you  
A natural defensive mechanism  
If I run from something  
Something I forgot to tell you  
How can I compel you?  
A natural defensive mechanism  
If I run from something  
I forgot to tell you  
Nothing left to sell you  
A natural defensive mechanism  
If I run from something  
I forgot to tell you  
I never said it  
I wont admit it that I did it  
But then again I'm nothing but a motor mouth_

I really am a motor mouth, but thankfully Joey has found a way to keep my mouth busy…and his. Besides, he finds it endearing…other's don't.

I'm also slightly misunderstood, but Joey says that doesn't matter.

Sometimes I overwhelm him, but Joey likes that about me.

Sometimes I obsess about things, but Joey really doesn't care where Yemen is.

And if I ever feel the need to suckle on another one of those proclaimed 'death sticks' Joey knows how to keep my hands busy…and his.

And…well, you can figure out the rest…

But man am I going to be screwed when he isn't around.


End file.
